In the USA, the issue of Stay-at-home (the term "housewife" is antiquated, though the concept obviously isn't) vs. Working Moms is such a heated issue. It is seriously divided with a lot of shade-throwing on both sides. I've been on both sides of the fence - I've stayed at home with my kids, I've worked full-time and I've worked part-time/freelance.
The nastiness that arises from the American debate really seems to be an issue of jealousy, of haves and have-nots. Come to think of it, jealousy and looky-loo-ism (or comparing your lifestyle/belongings) seem to cause many of the not-so-nice feelings in the USA, especially when it comes to motherhood.
If you stay at home, you are seen as spoiled and "taken care of" by your partner. You are a "kept woman" and backwards on feminism. You might be accused of being a "helicopter mom" or "sanctomommy" who is so gung-ho about motherhood that she can't spend a nanosecond away from her offspring. Supposedly you don't "have to" work.
If you work full-time out of the home, you are considered by some to be a cold-hearted careerist. There are always nasty whisperings "Well why did she have kids anyway if she was just going to throw them into daycare???"
From my distance now, I can see that all of this meanness and jealousy really comes from a general lack of support for both women and mothers in the USA. It's also a backhanded way of controlling women's bodies and choices. Like, if you're only getting max 3 months paid leave (most of my friends get less nowadays, it seems), childcare costs are extraordinarily high, health insurance policies are tightening, Human Resources/work policies favor men and the economy still effing sucks, well of course back-biting is going to happen. It's the fucking Hunger Games for women in that country it seems, sometimes. Seriously.
I generally notice that the mean-girl stuff is not very prevalent in Sweden as a whole. I even tried watching Svenska Hollywoodfruar (Swedish Hollywood Wives - a reality show on TV about wealthy Swedish women who live in Los Angeles) and I stopped watching it because they were so darned nice! They were nice to one another, to their children, husbands and in general. No drama. I think Swedish society really supports feminism. Feminism isn't just about aesthetics or "being angry." In fact the feminists here are not angry at all - their voices are being heard. Feminism is about society supporting women and women supporting other women.
So, no, I'm not working now. But it's not because I'm lazy or spoiled or "kept." I'm just taking the allotted time (and yes, fire-breathers - it is a long time) off to care for my children. I will eventually go back to work. Most women in Sweden do work. I don't have the percentage, but it's much, much higher than in the USA. And fathers here do absolutely take paid leave too to care for their kids. The onus isn't just on the mother for childcare and housework. This helps too.
Did you know that even in Viking times that women were allowed to own land and get divorced? This country has a long history of supporting women. Not just encouraging them to talk shit about one another and flip tables shouting "Prostitution Whore!" during televised dinners. Yeah Teresa from RHNJ, you made my home state proud right there. :)
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